Contracting Nasal Muscles
by Dracuncula
Summary: Jane's nasal spatula isn't orbiting the way it usually does. (Somewhat) established Rizzles.


**Previously posted on Livejournal. I do not own the characters of Rizzoli & Isles, neither do I own an orbiting nasal spatula.**

* * *

Jane Rizzoli was in a good mood. More specifically, it was a workday and Jane Rizzoli was in a good mood. Not being a morning person, it was a rare occurrence to see the renowned detective stride into the bullpen at 8 am sharp, with a smile on her face. Frost raised a curious eyebrow and shot Korsak a questioning glance, who only shrugged in return.

Usually, whenever Jane was in a good mood this early in the morning she entered the bullpen together with Dr. Isles, a telltale sign that the leading ladies of the Boston homicide unit had spent a 'girl's night' (or whatever they liked to call it) together and Jane had ended up spending the night at Maura's. Of course the male members of the homicide squad had their own theories as to what exactly happened during a Rizzoli and Isles sleepover that left Jane in a blissfully good mood, fantasies ranging from pillow fights in lingerie to a lot more adult activities.

And while none of the guys would ever dare to voice any of those ideas out loud in front of Jane, most of them would have been surprised to learn how close to the truth their dirty boys fantasies actually came, since as of late Maura and Jane had indeed developed into something more, even if neither of them was quite sure yet what to label it, therefore deciding it would be best to keep things quiet around the BPD for the time being.

Today, however, there was no sign of the M.E. anywhere.

"Morning Jane", Frost greeted, clearing his throat in an attempt at nonchalance. "So, where did ya leave the doc?"

"Huh? Maura not been here yet? If you're waiting for your coffee I am sure she'll be here soon, she's the epitome of punctuality" Jane responded with a chuckle.

Frost, being the good detective that he was, deduced from Jane's obvious cluelessness that she had indeed not arrived together with Dr. Isles on this particular morning. And true to Jane's words, mere seconds later the M.E. entered the bullpen, balancing a cup holder filled with four tall cups of coffee. (Much to the three homicide detective's eternal gratefulness, Maura had made it a habit to pick up freshly brewed coffee from her favourite organic coffee shop every morning for each of them - usually the only thing that served to somewhat alleviate Jane's morning grouchiness.)

"Good morning!" Maura greeted with her usual cheerfulness, claiming her spot perched onto Jane's desk to enjoy her cup of coffee together with her colleagues, as was her habit every morning before heading down to the morgue and her own office.

"Hey Maur. Thanks for the coffee!" Jane eagerly grabbed the hot beverage that was hers.

This, Maura thought, was out of the ordinary. Usually the only acknowledgement of her arrival she'd get from Jane was unintelligible mumbling, and it was only when Jane was halfway through her coffee that she'd be awake enough to grace Maura with a proper 'good morning' and, if no one was watching, a quick peck on the cheek.

"You're in a good mood this morning", Maura observed, studying Jane's face in hopes to get a clue as to what it was that had her lover in a state of happiness that, up until now, Maura had been sure to be the only one able to induce in Jane.

Jane, instantly recognising what Maura was trying to do, felt her cheeks burn under Maura's scrutinising gaze. "Maura, stop doing that!"

"Stop doing what, Jane?"

"That thing that you do! I know you're trying to analyse my orbiting occipital spatula and whatnot! Stop it." Jane did her best to keep her face expressionless, but she found it hard to control herself when faced with Maura's inquisitive hazel eyes upon her.

"Your orbicularis oculi is fine, Jane. It's your musculus nasalis that's contracting." Maura stated, almost accusingly.

"Good God Maura. It's barely past eight in the morning and you're seriously telling me I am contracting something from my nasal muscles?" Jane exclaimed, pointing her finger at Maura who seemed to ignore her completely.

"Contraction of the musculus nasalis produces a lustful facial expression. As to the underlying reason causing your lustfulness this morning I could only guess, and you know how averse I am to doing that." Maura continued in a slightly snappish tone of voice that was not lost on Jane.

And it was at this point that Korsak and Frost, completely oblivious to the impending crisis, could no longer mask their laughter.

"Lustful eh? Jeez Jane, what the hell were you up to last night?" Frost sniggered.

"Shut it Frost!" Jane hissed, glancing at Maura out of the corner of her eye, already fearing the worst.

"Well Detective Frost, whatever it was that Jane did last night, it certainly left her good-humoured and with a lustful contracting nasalis muscle." Maura snapped, before turning on her heels and walking briskly out of the bullpen.

"Oh for God's sake! There weren't any lustful muscles contracting in my face!" Jane yelled after Maura, but all she got in return was the muffled sound of the elevator doors sliding close. After only a few seconds of hesitating and angry grumbling, Jane was next to rush out of the bullpen, without a doubt to go find Maura.

"What on earth just happened here?" Korsak asked, shooting Frost a questioning glance as soon as Jane had disappeared.

"Damned if I know. Women!" the young detective murmured, shaking his head.

As expected, Jane found Maura seated at the desk in her office, her head bent over some paperwork that Jane was sure only served as an excuse for Maura not to have to look at Jane.

"What the hell Maura?" she yelled, a little louder than she had intended to. "You can't come into the bullpen an start acting like a jealous wife just because some damn muscle in my face isn't contracting the way it should!"

"Is that all you came in here to do? Yell at me?" Maura finally looked up from her work to fix Jane with one of her most icy glares.

"Of course not! I want to know what the hell just happened up there. What on earth do you think I was doing last night that has you going all harpy on me?"

"As far as I am aware we have never explicitly defined the terms of our current relationship. And as long as we haven't both agreed to be exclusive I suppose you can take pleasure from whomever you want. Just make sure to use protection because if you sleep around like this I'd rather not take any chances of contracting a sexually transmitted disease next time I'm with you." Maura tried her best to sound matter-of-fact, but didn't manage to keep the hint of hurt out of her voice.

"You really think I'd do that? Sleep around? Is that what you think of me?"

"I saw the look on your face this morning. It's the same look you have whenever we've spent a night together. Anatomy doesn't lie, Jane."

"Yeah well I think it's bull. You're jealous Maura. Jealous because you think someone else made me happy. And you're trying to blame it on orbiting nasal spatulas."

"I'm not jealous." Maura's attempt to deny it sounded meek, even to her own ears.

"Ah, careful, or you'll break out in hives!" Jane said, the hint of a crooked smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, while carefully stepping closer to Maura.

Once she stood right next to where Maura was seated, Jane crouched down in front of her, taking Maura's hands in hers. "I'm not seeing anyone else Maura. I don't want to. I'm happy with you. I like what we have and if you're okay with it, then I'd like us to be exclusive."

"You would?" Maura asked quietly, finally meeting Jane's eyes.

"Yes I would."

"Oh. That's good. Because I don't like to see your musculus nasalis contract in lust over someone else." Maura admitted sheepishly, causing Jane to chuckle.

"Yeah, I figured as much. So we're good?" Jane asked.

"We're good." Maura smiled at Jane, squeezing her hands.

"Great! Now come on, let's go back upstairs before the coffee gets cold." Jane stood, pulling Maura up with her.

"Jane?"

Jane was already halfway out the door when Maura calling out her name caused her to turn back once more.

"If you weren't with anyone, then why was your nasalis muscle contracting this morning?" Maura blurted out, sheer curiosity getting the better of her. Jane took a deep breath, before smiling wickedly at Maura.

"You weren't too far off with the lusting, you know." Jane lowered her voice, stepping back into the room to stand as close to Maura as she dared without it being deemed inappropriate should anyone happen to walk in right now. "I woke up a little earlier than usual today. And there was this certain doctor I was thinking about, and I just couldn't get her out of my head. You know, blonde hair, hazel eyes, too smart for her own good, and she keeps wearing those incredibly sexy dresses, with those incredibly sexy heels … So you know what I did?"

Maura couldn't help the goose bumps erupting on every millimetre of her skin as she listened to Jane's husky voice, her body incredibly close to hers yet not touching. "What did you do?" she asked, her eyes locked with Jane's.

"I got out that kinky present you gave me the other day. You know, the one you told me to use whenever I'm alone and I think of you."

"Oh. I see." Maura all but whispered, a faint blush colouring her cheeks.

"Yep. In fact, using it while thinking about you was surprisingly good. Nothing close to the real deal, but definitely good enough to get my nasal spatula to orbit!"


End file.
